9 to 5

Today was my first day back to work since Bug was born.
I have had what is equivalent to an emotional rollercoaster the past few weeks agonizing about it.
 "Would he be mad at me? Will I get to spend any "quality" time with him? Will we survive? Is this best for our family? Can I even do it??"

Sunday morning during our "before service prayer time," I was praying and asking God for peace and rest. I hadn't even started the job and I was already exhausted by just thinking about it all! While I was meditating on His faithfulness and goodness to me and my little family, He reminded me that when I wait on Him, my strength will be renewed. But what does that mean? How do we wait on Him, when that is so contrary to our very nature? The more I think about it, I believe He wants us to simply trust Him. Trust in His provision, His wisdom, His plan. And then rest in that knowledge.

I know most every felt board Jesus Sunday School christian knows that beautiful passage in Isaiah, but when I was reviewing it earlier this afternoon one really stood out even more so:

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11

So there you go. I know you were trying to decipher how in the world this relates to being a super(tired) mom or dad. I guess it helps just knowing we are His sheep! His kids! Even though we are mommies and daddies who carry their babies close our hearts, He carries us and gently leads us! Oh, and how about that unlimited strength and rest? (sounds really good right about now, doesn't it?) 

 I leave you with pictures of the bug eating a piece of chocolate cake ( his treat for mom's first day). 
If that doesn't bring peace and joy to your heart, I don't know what will! 

When the storm cloud closes in...

There's a storm in the gulf, and you can tell.
Besides the gusts of wind, and grey ominous clouds, there's just a feeling in the air.

I've been thinking about storms lately.
They always make me sleepy.
There's something about the rhythm in the rain and thunder that is soothing.
But when the storm is too close, the calm dissipates and the feeling of "what-if's" closes in.
That's usually the time when Bug starts yelling for mom, and I find a black furry kitty cat at my feet.

In this season of our lives (mine specifically), this is such a timely word.
When the lightning and thunder get too close for comfort, He is there.
When the storms of this life loom overhead, He is there.
My Abba Father is faithful. Even when I am not.
I find refuge in His arms. He speaks peace to my soul.

I've been meditating on Psalm 91 the last few days:
"If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." 
 

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." 

I honestly can't think of anything more comforting.
The same unconditional love I feel for my Bug, my God feels for me.
And then some! 
So bring on the rain.
I'm feeling sleepy already.

The Norm.

Why didn't peer pressure disappear like the rest of our high school classmates?
Why do we feel the need to compare?
Sigh.

I hate facebook. I hate Pintrest. I hate the media.
I hate doilies and quilts.
I hate balanced meals cooked from scratch.
And I especially hate houses that have no dust bunnies.

And yet we put these crazy unrealistic standards in our minds of how we should or shouldn't dress, eat, act or raise our children! I had someone very recently question me about my tactics in raising Bug: Was I using flashcards? Was he using the potty yet? Do I follow the Montessori method? Does he get enough sunlight? Do I use so-and-so type of vitamin?

My answer to you, Mr. and Mrs. NaySayer, is this:
 I am capable! I am sufficient! I AM SUPER MOM!
Yes, my house needs to be dusted.
Yes, my meals my come from a box (sometimes).
Yes, my child wears second hand clothes.
Yes, he is deathly pale.
But he is cherished! He is adored! Not a day goes by that I don't surround him with prayer, asking God to help me train him to become the man he was made to be. Does he know his letters and numbers? No. Does he know how to write in cursive? No. Does he poopoo in the potty? No.
But he will!

 I'm going to breathe in this time, this season, and not fast-forward to the next one. I'll never get this time back. And who knows: A few of you out there can join me, and we can create a new norm.
One of unconditional love, acceptance and contentment with whatever season we're in.

Tomorrow is Saturday.
Or, as it is called around the Brown house "Daddy Day!"
I know everyone looks forward to the weekend in anxious anticipation, we especially celebrate the weekends as we are an Extremely Busy Family! Daddy Day is sacred and holy. A time of uninterrupted quality time. Snuggling. Laughing. Playing. This is what we all live for during the week!

To help kick off the countdown, I give you this:
One Adorable Monkey Boy!

Here's hoping you all have a wonderful, relaxing Daddy Day!

Why am I so tired?

The days must be getting shorter again.
I'm noticing new patches of grey.
And Buddy has outgrown his new pair of shoes in 3 weeks.

3 Weeks.
A lot can happen in three weeks.

The Olympics started on Friday, and we've been spending quite a bit of time watching the events. Bug loves to watch swimming. As we lay in the bed, covers pulled up, chomping on animal crackers, I watch his eyes gleam as he glances back and forth following them all the way to the end and back. I took him to the pool yesterday morning, and he practiced. He said he wants to win a gold medal someday. I believe him.

Speaking of gold medals, the neighborhood "lost boys" got 2 this afternoon. My bestest Ali and I made them with salt dough and they were perfect. We imprinted them with our Saints logo and painted them gold. Every child needs a gold medal. Yesterday as I was out for a walk with Bud, they ran up with the usual squeals of "Gillllian! Hey Buddy! Hey Mrs. Nathan!" :) Oh, how I love them so. They were especially excited, and told me that they wanted to be gymnasts when they grew up and proceeded to entertain us with various flips, splits, cartwheels and turns, grinning ear to ear. I hugged them and told them how proud I was of them, and that they could do and be whatever they set their minds to. Every child needs some encouragement. I would like to take credit, but I believe that God reminded me of those two left-over medals stowed away (just for my lost boys to share). I'll always remember the look in their eyes as they gently took them from my hands and put them on. Precious boys. I am so honored that God lets me love them. They are why we're here.

Am I crazy? The aftereffects of too much Sesame Street.

I've decided that I want a big family. You know. The obnoxious family that disrupts order wherever they go, with the gas-guzzling vehicle that you have to drive because nothing else will fit your crazy brood.

You might be wondering, "WHY?" And I'll ask you, "have you seen my beautiful, perfect child?" ;)
Seriously though, why wouldn't we want to add more love, peace and joy to this crazy world we live in? We have the ability to mold and shape a life that makes this planet better by simply existing.

I feel so humbled that God chose me to be Buddy's mom. I learn so much from him every day. Today, as we were singing our ABC's, he reminded me that after C is da-da. That of course brought about further singing about how awesome dada is,  and then he told me, "Mom...you no da-da." What a profound statement?! I GET to be ma-ma! I have the innate ability to nurture, and bestow compassion and mercy. I GET to kiss ouchies, and have deedledeedle fits. I know exactly how many bruises he has on his little boy frame (6). I know exactly when he needs to go potty. And I'll tell you what: when I go back to work on August 20th, you better believe I'm taking one of his lovies to keep in my desk, just so I can smell his scent and feel close to him.

I love being a mom. There's no greater calling in this world. And just you wait: you'll see our wild and crazy brood. All 8 of us. ;)

Bird (no, Kit) Food

Buddy has gotten picky.

Not your standard, "I don't want peas: they're green," toddler tantrums. Instead, he's eating just enough to keep me in the palm of his hands. He has me right where he wants me...he knows I'll cave and give him whatever he'll eat.With that being said here's what the bug absorbs in a day's time:

Breakfast: Carbs. Nutritious Artificially Flavored Carbs. And a Ba-Ba.

Lunch: More Carbs. Animal Crackers or PBsandwich. No jelly. Maybe a banana (if it's ripe enough:but not too ripe because the texture's off) or peaches (if they're canned with heavy syrup: he knows the difference). Juice is also accepted.

Dinner: Even more Carbs. Mac&Cheese is nice. Don't forget the Ba-Ba. (Leave those greens in a can, mom.) Maybe some raisins. Or pickles.


I know what you're thinking (I'm thinking it too) and I this is unacceptable: I need to find ways to infuse goodness into the Bug's tummy. So how do you outsmart a smarty-pants?
I started with subtle changes. I gave him pasta, only it was whole wheat. Then I switched that up for Quinoa pasta. And you know what? He couldn't tell. So I felt even more brave and added broccoli to the pasta while it was cooking (it was mush by the time the pasta was done). And he still couldn't tell!
Now I need to find something besides mac&cheese as he has moved on and no longer finds it savory.

Any other super moms out there? How do you sneak goodness into your weeones bellies?